Lisbon Luxury: Unbeatable Holiday Inn Express Deal (Av. Liberdade!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a review of a hotel that's got more features than a Swiss Army knife. And, well, let's just say I've got opinions. Let's call this a brutally honest, slightly rambling, and hopefully helpful look at what makes this place tick (or maybe just…tickle you pink).
Let's call it…"The Confused Tourist's Guide to [Hotel Name] - A Review That's Probably Too Long."
First Impressions & Accessibility:
Okay, so the first thing you notice, especially if you're lugging a suitcase the size of a small car (guilty!), is the elevator. Thank god, because my legs are basically screaming "No stairs!" right now. Elevator is key for anyone with mobility issues, obviously. And hey, the hotel says it has facilities for disabled guests. That's a good start, but I didn't get a chance to fully scrutinize it, so let's hope it's actually accessible and not just lip service. Let's find out on review. Also, big points for the doorman – always nice to have someone to wrestle your luggage. The exterior corridor - seems fine. CCTV in common areas and outside property - good for safety, but also kind of makes you feel like you're constantly being watched. Is this a hotel or a prison? Just kidding…mostly.
Internet, Glorious Internet!
Alright, vital stuff. Let's get this out of the way: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Thank the internet gods. And not just "kinda-sorta-works" Wi-Fi, but seemingly decent Wi-Fi, at least initially. I mean, I needed it for work (eye roll), but also to watch cat videos. Priorities. There's also Internet access – LAN in the rooms, for all you wired types. The Internet services are listed, but how good are they really? Overall, the Wi-Fi in public areas was also surprisingly strong. This is a massive win. No one wants to wrestle with a weak signal when they're trying to escape reality.
Keeping it Together (Or Trying To): Hygiene & Safety
Okay, this is huge in the current climate. The hotel proudly boasts Anti-viral cleaning products. Good. Daily disinfection in common areas? Excellent. Rooms sanitized between stays? Also good. Hand sanitizer everywhere you look? Check. Makes you feel a tiny bit safer, even if you're still secretly paranoid. They have a doctor/nurse on call and give you a first aid kit. Staff trained in safety protocol is good to hear. They also have Safe dining setup which is good to know about. Bonus points for Cashless payment service – makes life easier. Hygiene certification is also important.
The Sleepy Stuff: Rooms & Amenities
Alright, let's get down to brass tacks. Air conditioning is essential. Blackout curtains? Yes, please! Bathrobes and slippers? Very welcome, especially when you want to feel fancy. Coffee/tea maker, along with Complimentary tea? Absolutely crucial for my survival. The mini bar is stocked, which is always a temptation. The in-room safe box gives you some peace of mind. Non-smoking rooms? A must these days. I saw smoke alarms and smoke detectors - good! Soundproof rooms are also wonderful for a quieter stay.
The Extras (And The Sometimes Annoying):
There are a lot of extras, like access to a gym/fitness, pool with view, sauna, spa, spa/sauna, steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. These little indulgences can make the difference between a decent stay and a truly great one, but honestly, I didn't have time to fully exploit them because…. well, life. Meeting/banquet facilities seem nice, but I didn't attend anything.
Food & Drink (A Crucial Section)
This is where things get interesting. Restaurants? Plural! That's a good sign. Room service [24-hour]? Lifesaver! They have Asian cuisine, Western cuisine, Vegetarian restaurant. I loved the Breakfast [buffet]. It's a classic, and they actually had a pretty decent selection. There's coffee/tea in restaurant, a desserts in restaurant, a happy hour, a poolside bar. I did hit the snack bar late one night. It was… exactly what you'd expect from a hotel snack bar. The food was what you would expect from a buffet, but it did the trick.
Entertainment and Relaxation (Or Attempting To)
They talk about Things to do. I saw they had a Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. Frankly, I was too busy working (irony!) to fully enjoy these luxuries. But good to know they’re there.
For the Kiddos (Or, How the Hotel Might Deal With My Spawn)
Family/child friendly is a plus. This might actually be important to you if you have a tiny human in your life. There is Babysitting service - okay, that's an option. The Kids meal seems a nice touch - you know, in case you want some respite from the constant "are we there yet?" questions.
The Fine Print and the "Good to Knows":
- Cash withdrawal in a pinch is handy.
- The concierge was helpful.
- They have a convenience store, which is inevitably overpriced, but useful in a crisis.
- The laundry service was… well, it did laundry.
- Meeting/banquet facilities exist for all your corporate needs.
- Pets allowed unavailable.
- The Room sanitization opt-out available is a good touch.
The Hiccups and The Annoyances:
(Every hotel has them, right?)
- The noise levels - While the rooms are soundproof, some of the rooms face the street, and the cars… ugh.
- Slow laundry service - Even the best hotels screw this up.
My Verdict (And Why You Might Want to Book)
Okay, so, would I recommend this hotel? Maybe.
Here's the deal: If you value a clean, modern, and well-equipped hotel, with a decent location and reliable Wi-Fi, and a good breakfast - this is a solid choice. If you're looking for something truly unique, with soul and character, well… keep looking. But honestly, for a business trip or a quick getaway where you want a comfortable base camp, you could do a LOT worse.
My pitch to you? Book if:
- You value convenience, cleanliness, and reliable internet.
- The idea of a late-night snack bar appeals to you.
- You need a reliably decent hotel with amenities at your fingertips.
My advice? Don't expect perfection. Expect a solid, well-run hotel that knows what it's doing.
Escape to Paradise: Jera Farmhouse & Lakeside Luxury in Dungarpur, India
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my Lisbon adventure, the one that almost didn't happen (thanks, Ryanair luggage allowance!). This is NOT your perfectly polished itinerary. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-hungover reality. Get ready, 'cause it's messy.
Lisbon with a Side of Chaos: A (Highly Improvised) Itinerary
Accommodation: Holiday Inn Express Lisboa - Av. Liberdade By IHG. (Yep, I'm back in the tried and true, mostly because the photos looked shiny.)
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and Pastel de Nata (Lots of Pastel de Nata)
- 6:00 AM - The Pre-Flight Panic: Woke up in a cold sweat. Did I pack socks? Passport? Did I forget my emergency chocolate? (Important question. The answer was a resounding "yes" on the chocolate front.) The airport was a blur of stressed families and the smell of despair (mostly my own).
- 10:00 AM - Lisbon! (Finally!) Landed. Whew. Survived the Ryanair experience. Found the tiny rental car, which somehow looked even tinier in real life. Driving in Lisbon? Brave. Or stupid. Jury's still out on that one.
- 11:30 AM - Check-In and the Existential Crisis: Found the hotel. (Relief washing over me like a warm wave… until I saw the "no parking" signs.) Hotel was fine. Standard. Clean, but kinda… beige. But hey, at least it was there. And after all that travel, my brain was mostly mashed potatoes.
- 12:30 PM - Pastel de Nata Mission: Ate exactly three pastel de nata at a place recommended by a chatty taxi driver who looked like he knew Lisbon's best-kept secrets. Delicious is an understatement. These sugary, eggy, flaky pastries? Pure heaven. I may have considered relocating indefinitely. They are life-altering.
- 2:00 PM - Street Rambling: Wandered around the Baixa district. Beautiful buildings, tile-covered facades, and a serious need for a nap. Got lost. More importantly, ended up in front of a tiny little shop selling vintage postcards. Bought far too many. Regretted it immediately because, "Where's the space?"
- 4:00 PM - Elevator Troubles: The elevator in the hotel has a mind of its own. Sometimes it goes up. Sometimes it plunges down. Sometimes it just stares at you, judging you with its flickering lights. Took the stairs.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner with a View (and a Near-Disaster): Found a restaurant with a terrace overlooking the Tagus River. Ordered seafood rice – seemed safe, right? Nope. Apparently, I have a shellfish allergy I was previously unaware of. Flushed, itchy, and feeling a bit delirious, I managed to avoid the ER (thanks, antihistamines!). The view, though? Still stunning. Worth almost dying for, maybe?
- 9:00 PM - Bedtime. Finally.
Day 2: Tram 28, Jerónimos Monastery, and a Love Affair with Tiles
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast Panic: Found the hotel breakfast. It was… functional. The coffee tasted like sadness, but the pastries made up for it. Kind of.
- 10:00 AM - Tram 28: The Tourist Gauntlet: Jumped on Tram 28. Epic. Chaotic. And full of tourists crammed in like sardines. (Me included, obviously). The hills were a beast. The views? Spectacular. The ride was a bumpy ride, but I'm still here.
- 11:30 AM - Jerónimos Monastery: Jaw Dropping: Found the Jerónimos Monastery. The architecture? Mind-blowing. The detail? Insane. I felt tiny, yet awestruck. I spent actual ages just staring at the cloisters.
- 1:00 PM - Belém Delights: Ate more pastel de nata (shocking, I know). Visited the Belém Tower. I think I saw it; too many tourists were surrounding it, but the water was so blue, it was worth seeing.
- 2:30 PM - Tile Obsession: Got lost in the Alfama district (again). Walked around narrow streets and got obsessed with the tiles. The color! The patterns! I want them all! This tile envy is an actual problem now! I wanted to start ripping tiles off the walls. Restrained myself. Barely.
- 4:00 PM - Fado for the Soul: Somehow ended up in a Fado House. Didn't understand a word, but the music? Heartbreakingly beautiful. I may have shed a tear. It was glorious and sad at the same time.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner and Wine (More Wine): Found a tiny, family-run restaurant with the best grilled sardines EVER. (Pro-tip: learn how to find the bones). Drank way too much local wine. Felt very happy.
- 9:00 PM - Bed!
Day 3: Day Trip to Sintra, Pena Palace, and the Cliffs of Cabo da Roca, Ending in a Lisbon Pub Crawl!
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast and a Plan: Same sad coffee, but loads of enthusiasm this time. This time, I was prepared. This wasn't going to be a repeat of the shellfish incident!
- 10:00 AM - Sintra: Fairytale Madness: The journey was simple enough. The train ride was nice and easy. Sintra? Absolutely bonkers. Pena Palace was breathtaking, but also swarming with people. Thought I saw a unicorn, probably a hallucination from the crowds. But that view.. oh wow.
- 1:00 PM - Quinta da Regaleira: Secret Gardens and Wells: Explored Quinta da Regaleira's mystical gardens. The Initiation Well was cool and mysterious. I almost fell in.
- 3:00 PM - Cabo da Roca: The Edge of the World (Literally): The wind nearly blew me off the cliffs at Cabo da Roca, but the view was worth it. Standing at the westernmost point of continental Europe… made me feel alive. Even though I almost blew away.
- 6:00 PM - Back to Lisbon. Pub Crawl!
- 7:00 PM - Dinner and the First Bar.
- 8:00 PM - The Pub Crawl Begins! I have no idea how many bars we hit, what we drank, or what time it ended, but I remember dancing, laughing, and meeting the most amazing people.
- Late Night/Early Morning - THE NEXT DAY: Woke up with no memory of the way back.
Day 4: Departure (With a Broken Heart and Extra Tiles?!)
- 10:00 AM - The Aftermath: Woke up. Head hurt. Bank account hurt. But my soul? Refreshed.
- 11:00 AM - Farewell Pastel de Nata: Ate one last pastel de nata. Savoring every bite.
- 12:00 PM - Last-Minute Souvenir Hunting: Went hunting for tiles. Found some! And a few other knickknacks (mostly for myself)
- 1:00 PM - Airport Bound: Rental car survived. I survived.
- 3:00 PM - Flight Panic (Again): Managed to get through security.
- [Insert departure time here] - Plane finally Takes Off: Goodbye, Lisbon! I'll be back. I have to be back. To find more tiles! And more pastel de nata! And to hopefully learn to actually drive that tiny car.
Reflections:
Lisbon? It's a mess of beauty, history, and sheer, unadulterated joy. The city is a treasure, even when you're lost, sweaty, and dealing with a questionable stomach. It's a place that embraces chaos and spills its charm all over you. And honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way.
(P.S. I made it. Passport intact. No hospital visits. Successful trip? Let's just say, mission accomplished.)
Escape to Paradise: Your Cozy Japanese Folk House Awaits in Kushimoto!
So, what *exactly* are we talking about here? (Because, let's be honest, I zone out constantly)
Okay, okay, good question. But honestly? I’m kind of winging it. This is supposed to be an FAQ... About *something*. What are *your* issues about? Or, maybe you don’t have issues, which is... weird. Is that a problem in itself? This is already getting off track, isn’t it? Okay, let's pretend we're talking about... let's say, surviving a zombie apocalypse. Yeah, let's go with that. It's a good metaphor for *gestures vaguely at everything*.
What's the *absolute worst* part of the zombie apocalypse, in your highly unprofessional opinion?
Oh, good lord, where do I even *start*? The rotting flesh smell is a strong contender. I mean, imagine having that permanently stuck in your nose. But, no, the *worst* part? The *loneliness*. Seriously. Think about it. You're barricaded in a boarded-up pharmacy, hoping for a stray can of beans, listening to the moans and groans of... them... outside. And you miss your cat, Mittens, who probably got eaten five minutes into this whole mess. I'd rather be clawed at by a horde of rabid undead than suffer that particular brand of existential dread. And the canned beans are the only thing that matters anyway.
Alright, survival basics. Let's say I'm still breathing. What do I *actually do*? (Besides panic, that is.)
Ugh, fine, practicalities. *First*, you panic. Get that out of your system. Scream, cry, question all your life choices. Then, *immediately* find shelter. A sturdy building. Something with limited entrances. No glass doors! (Trust me on that one, I've learned the hard way. Okay, not *zombies* but a particularly aggressive squirrel at a park and a poorly placed swing set. The point is, you need to learn from my experiences.)
*Second*, secure food and water, or die. Canned goods are your friend. Learn to purify water. Or, you know, drink whatever you can find and pray you don't get dysentery on *top* of the zombie apocalypse. Seriously, you'll be wishing there was another apocalypse at that point.
*Third*, find a weapon. A baseball bat with nails is always a classic. But honestly, a good, sturdy frying pan can do the trick. Just...aim for the head. And try not to get blood on your favorite shirt, because that stains like nobody's business. I may have a few old blood stains even now...
Speaking of weapons... what's the *absolute worst* weapon choice? And give me a story, please!
Oh, this one's easy. The pool noodle. Unless you're going for a very, very slow, agonizing death. Look, it *looks* harmless. That's the first, *fatal* mistake. I once (and okay, admittedly, more than once – don't judge!) tried to 'fight' off (or at least, *deter*) the aggressive squirrel with a pool noodle. It just bounced off. The squirrel basically looked at me, flicked its tail, and went back to whatever squirrel-business it normally does. Picture that, but with the undead. Imagine hacking away at a zombie with a flimsy, brightly colored piece of foam. You might as well offer it a hug. It will not end well. And the worst part? You'd be *that* guy. The pool noodle guy. What a legend.
So, what about groups? Is it better to team up or go it alone? (Because, again, I'm a bit of a lone wolf...or, you know, a slightly neurotic housecat.)
This is where things get...complicated. Groups are good for defense, for scavenging, for sharing the (terrible) burden of survival. But groups also mean *drama*. People bickering over resources. Power struggles. Someone will, inevitably, be a jerk. Someone WILL be the 'trust issues' person, even in an apocalypse. That's just human nature. And trust me, I've met more than my share of that person. They're always the last one to actually help.
Being alone? Terrifying. Less drama, but the loneliness... oh, the loneliness. And one wrong step, and you're done. Really done. I think the sweet spot is finding a small, reliable group. Like... two or three people max. People you trust. Someone with medical skills (very important!). Someone who's good at driving. Someone who knows how to make a good cup of coffee. Because even during the zombie apocalypse, a good cup of coffee is *essential*.
Okay, this is getting REALLY intense. What's the *one* luxury you'd absolutely want to have during a zombie apocalypse?
Okay, *luxury*. Hmmm. Forget the fancy stuff. Forget the caviar (who even *likes* caviar?). It's gotta be... a good book. Something long, engrossing. Something to take my mind off the fact that I'm probably going to get eaten. A book about other people's problems sounds about perfect, maybe some fantasy, or better, something with a good romantic subplot. If I'm going to die, might as well do it while lost in a good story. Plus, you can always use the paper to start a fire, which is probably a win-win.
What's the *most* important thing to remember? Like, the #1 rule?
Don't panic. Just kidding. (Sort of.) The *most* important thing… I think... is to *adapt*. The world has changed. Rules have changed. You have to be flexible, resourceful, willing to do whatever it takes. And honestly? Accept that you're probably going to mess up. Everyone does. You'll make bad choices. You'll freeze up at the worst possible moment. You'll probably cry when you lose everything. It is what it is. That's part of the whole experience. And if you somehow make it out alive? Well, then you'll have one hell of a story to tell.
